produce, produce, produce.

i have been extremely motivated lately, i think desperate times force you to be creative...?  as i am desperately seeking another job, my lack of working + having almost no income= plenty of time for me to play with paints.  yesterday i made another speed video.  cheers!

"pa pa power" by dead man's bones, an incredible band, check them out

inspiration.

so my first opportunity to show something was march 09. it was for a binary show, the opening of sovereign collective in columbus, oh. (www.sovereigncollective.com) the artists were to create two pieces that go together, that were to be at 2 different galleries. i had little or no confidence in myself at all but agreed to be in the show anyway, i had a month. well the point of this story is that my friend, dan suggested some artists to me to research after he had seen my painting of a woman on wood. one of the artists was audry kawasaki. months later i still look at her stuff, i always will. but today i was reading articles and i read the article "hello, my name is audry" from 2007 in Soma Magazine. it described audry's girls as expressions of her 'inner self that manifests in exotic truths'. The article begins with the quote, "Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell the truth". i read that a moment ago, and it felt strikingly firmilure. the painting i mention earlier was 100% emotion i was feeling at a point and time in my relationship at the time. without going into detail and looking back, as i can hardly express myself verbally now, it was the first time i expressed myself via painting. the woman in my painting literally had the brain and the heart cut out of the wood, and the anatomical heart and brain were at the other gallery. it was an outlet for me, and it was comfortable. without getting too personal, the past couple of months i have basically vomited all over my canvases. (most of the stuff on my website is from sept, october) instead of being able to express myself verbally, i painted. not even really knowing exactly what i wanted, but in hindsight i suppose it is clear. i think the only way i am able to write now is because there are no faces, as far as i know nobody could read this, and i have time to think about what i am going to say... and im drinking wine. :) anyways...... just really getting started into painting, artists like kawasaki, sylvia ji is another incredible artist that i admire times a million, and after reading that article, i have an understanding of maybe why i have never really been able to express myself verbally. wow.
so i will continue to paint what i feel.