can we build a bond stronger than monotony? 

i know that i am not a lazy person.    but the guilt i hoard from a hangover is worse than the grueling headache and appetite itself.  i constantly beat myself up over downtime...  

beat myself up over not being productive.   

but not today.  

today i release all the guilt for having a good time.  

i rolled out of my boyfriends bed with a hangover three hours after my alarm went off.   

walked to the cuban cafe, ordered a cafe con leche and something off the menu i did not understand.  

today instead of guilt... i am grateful.   so grateful that i can just roll out of bed, kiss a sexy man goodbye, roll around the city and kill a couple hours before i go to work.    

i am so grateful for where i am right now.   i am happy.

i know that i am not lazy... i get shit done.   there is always downtime.  

releasing the guilt has released the hangover as well.  

why is it so hard to accept being happy?   enough with the masochist attitude.  stop being so hard on myself.    

i accept that im happy.